Friday, May 27, 2005
I would like to take this opportunity to formally announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America. I will be making my bid on the Fascist ticket, and I have a message I believe will appeal to the convenience-oriented sensibilities of Americans: vote for me once, and you'll never have to vote again. What could be simpler than that? I have a fair amount of graphic design and video production experience; if anybody has any experience in marketing I'd love the help. I won't be old enough to be President for another two elections, but I see the next elections as representing a reasonable time-frame for the development of a coherent marketing agenda , and as an opportunity to at least present Americans with a viable alternative candidate in genuine opposition to the status quo, our two-party political system, lack of parliament, and corporate governance that kick citizens in the ass instead of giving them kickbacks. Every vote counts and every vote sends a message of equal strength; every man and every woman is an equal determiner of our Nation's future. Although every vote counts, no individual citizen's act of voting has the power to tip an election: therefore, one ought to make one's voice heard loudly, and with total indemnity. A vote for a Fascist isn't a vote taken away from a Democrat or a Republican, but a vote bestowed upon that Fascist by an individual American citizen, under Rule of Law, and by Grace from God. Please write in "America Jones" wherever you vote next, even if only for County Coroner -- I'm not afraid to start at the bottom, and I'm looking forward to fighting my way to the top. God bless America, and I'll see y'all on Election Day!